You know how I know you’re gay?

One of the funniest exchanges in my favorite movie (The 40 Year Old Virgin) is this one between two of his friends:

[David and Cal Playing a videogame]

Cal: You’re *gay* now?
David: No, I’m not gay I’m just celibate.
Cal: I think? I mean, that sounds ga- I just want you to know this is like the first conversation of like three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like… there’s this and then in a year it’s like, “Oh you know, I kinda wanna, ya know, get back out there but I think I like guys” and then there’s the big, “Oh I’m I’m a g-gay guy now”.
David: You’re gay for saying that.
Cal: I’m gay for saying that?
David: You know how I know you’re gay?
Cal: How? How do you know I’m gay?
David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
Cal: You know how I know *you’re* gay? You just told me you’re not sleeping with women any more.
David: You know how I know that you’re gay?
Cal: How? Cuz you’re gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.
David: You know how I know you’re gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.

David: You know how I know that you’re gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like the movie “Maid in Manhattan”.
Cal: You know how I know *you’re* gay?
David: How?
Cal: I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sour dough bread once.
David: You know how I know that you’re gay?
Cal: How?
David: You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says “I love it when *balls* are in my face”.
Cal: That’s *gay*?

[David loses second match]

David: Goddamnit!
Cal: I’m ripping your head off right now. It’s off, and *now* I’m throwing it at your body.
[shouts]
Cal: Fuck you!
David: Aww.

3 December 2005 | DVD, Humor, Movies | Comments