Archive for June, 2006

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Must Love Jaws


2006
06.29

Posted in Humor, Movies, The Web | Comments Off

Following an interesting blog posting on the New York Times website regarding a bad translation of the Iranian president addressing their national soccer team, someone posted a link to this faux movie trailer which absolutely cracked me up…



…of course, an equally amusing mash-up is “10 Things I Hate About Commandments“.



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Dear Daphne… Am I A Slut?


2006
06.29

Posted in Humor, Sex, The Web | Comments Off

I logged into Friendster for the first time in a long time, and my attention was immediately captured by a cute girl whose blog entry was entitled:

“DAPH, I KISSED 2 GIRLS AND 4 GUYS, SLEPT WITH 3 OF THOSE GUYS ALL IN ONE NIGHT. AM I A SLUT?”

Of course, I had to read more… and it turned out to be hilarious. Check it out:

“DAPH, I KISSED 2 GIRLS AND 4 GUYS, SLEPT WITH 3 OF THOSE GUYS ALL IN ONE NIGHT. AM I A SLUT?”

hmm

i must admit, i have extremely wild friends. ok. i
confess. i did something i thought was pretty wild with matthew,
although, i think when compared to some of the stories i’ve heard, it
was pretty tame in their books.

so out of all the stories i heard, none was wilder
than this one particular girl friend of mine. some of the things she
does just downright shocks me. not because i didn’t expect her to do
them, but because they just sound too fictionalized to believe. but
every single word she tells me is true. she’s even got pictures to
prove it!

this is where the dilemma begins. my friend’s week consisted of :

1. tongue kissing more than 5 ppl (2 of them being girls)

2. sleeping with 3 guys in the course of 6 hours or so

3. between guy 2 and guy 3,
lost her underwear and after repeated searching was not able to
find her own, but someone else’s underwear

4. 5, 6 or 7 mike’s hard lemonade

and well … i won’t elaborate any further.

so anyway, after telling me all the details, she springs this question up on me,

“daph, do you think i’m a SLUT?”

well, first i should define what i think a slut is.

slut Audio pronunciation of ( P ) Pronunciation Key (slt)
n.

    1. A woman considered sexually promiscuous.
    2. A woman prostitute.

WTF, YOU CRAZY BIATCH! YES, you have what i call SLUT POWERS! hahaha – geez! why do you even bother to ask me?!

i mean, any woman who can take on 3 guys all
in one night and is not a porn star must have some kind of superhuman
power. i dont know if it’s the kind of power i’d be proud of, but hey,
different strokes for different folks right?

daphne: so yeah, i still love you *bleep* even if you are a slut. ok. you’re my little slut.

friend: but i’m not ur slut… u never want me

daphne: well, i do have matthew you know.

friend: come
on… u know u want to grab my ass… lol… and i wont take u away
from him… just borrow u for a few minutes… lol lmao

I HAVE ENCOUNTERED A SEXUAL MONSTER! aaaargh! LOL

so uhm….

DO YOU THINK MY FRIEND IS A SLUT?
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I’m not THAT horny!


2006
06.28

Posted in Humor, Technology | Comments Off

Ever had one of those moments when you think, “Okay, maybe my mind is playing tricks on me?” and then, after you doubt yourself, you see that you were actually seeing things as they actually were? Case in point, read this e-mail I received from NuShield, a company that makes screen protectors for cell phones and PDAs…

To Our NuShield Friends,

Summer is here and you might have received a PDA, PDA /Phone, Nintendo
or PSP, LCD monitor or laptop computer for Graduation or Father’s Day
from a loved one. To help protect your new gift and assure long life,
you should remember to purchase some NuShield screen protectors and
Klear Screen wipes.

Nushield is continually expanding its product offerings to include
screen protector films that work with a large variety of LCD monitors,
navigation devices in cars, laptop screens, Nintendo and PSP games, GPS
devices and SmartPhones in addition to the latest PDA handhelds on the
market.

You can quickly review these products by licking on this link or
pasting it into the address bar: http://www.nushield.com/products.htm

…

I definitely need to go to sleep when “licking” a hyperlink gets me giddy. :-)

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Why Rush Limbaugh (And Anyone Who Defends Him) Is An Idiot


2006
06.26

Posted in Celebrities, Politics | Comments Off

Rush Limbaugh got busted by Customs for carrying a bottle of Viagra through the airport because it was labeled as being prescribed to his doctor.

Of course, the official “cover story” for this is…

A doctor had prescribed the drug, but it was “labeled as being issued to the physician rather than Mr. Limbaugh for privacy purposes,” Roy Black, Limbaugh’s attorney, said in a statement.

So of course, ditto-heads everywhere are going to say that Rush, being a celebrity, deserves to have his privacy.

To which I ask, where is my privacy?

If I were to go to my doctor and get a prescription for Viagra, my doctor wouldn’t say, “Gee, let me put my name on your prescription because it’s embarassing for you…”

Actually, thanks to laws on the books designed to protect a patient’s right to privacy, Rush (and his doctor) had no valid excuse for trying to cover up his Viagra prescription.

So what we have here is a guy who plea bargained a deal for abusing prescription pain-killers who may now find himself in trouble with the law because he couldn’t trust the law to protect his privacy? Or maybe Rush is still “doctor-shopping” and playing games to get prescription drugs to satisfy other needs, such as Viagra, now that he can’t medicate himself into binary-thought complacency.

Too bad. Maybe we should take a page from Rush’s own book on how to deal with druggies:

“I want to let you read along with me a quote from Jerry Colangelo about substance abuse, and I think you’ll find that he’s very much right…‘I know every expert in the world will disagree with me, but I don’t buy into the disease part of it. The first time you reach for a substance you are making a choice. Every time you go back, you are making a personal choice. I feel very strongly about that.’… What he’s saying is that if there’s a line of cocaine here, I have to make the choice to go down and sniff it….And his point is that we are rationalizing all this irresponsibility and all the choices people are making and we’re blaming not them, but society for it. All these Hollywood celebrities say the reason they’re weird and bizarre is because they were abused by their parents. So we’re going to pay for that kind of rehab, too, and we shouldn’t. It’s not our responsibility. It’s up to the people who are doing it. And Colangelo is right. We’ve got more – right after this.”
- Rush Limbaugh, 9/23/93

“There’s nothing good about drug use. We know it. It destroys individuals. It destroys families. Drug use destroys societies. Drug use, some might say, is destroying this country. And we have laws against selling drugs, pushing drugs, using drugs, importing drugs. And the laws are good because we know what happens to people in societies and neighborhoods which become consumed by them. And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up. What this says to me is that too many whites are getting away with drug use. Too many whites are getting away with drug sales. Too many whites are getting away with trafficking in this stuff. The answer to this disparity is not to start letting people out of jail because we’re not putting others in jail who are breaking the law. The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with it, convict them and send them up the river, too.”
- Rush Limbaugh Show, 10/5/1995

“[He’s] another dead drug addict.”
- Rush Limbaugh on Jerry Garcia, 8/11/95
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Now I need to spend thousands of dollars on…


2006
06.25

Posted in Family | Comments Off

…new speakers.

So this is a BIG UPDATE.

My nieces and nephews (and my wacky sister, Krystel) dropped by yesterday, and we had a blast.I set up X-Box on my big screen TV so the boys could play Halo and nerd out.

As you can tell, the girls were sleepy and the boys were geeking out big time.

Later, they had a blast making music in the basement (it’s nice to see SOMEONE using all that gear since I’m not inspired to do so), and then we went out to dinner at Mama Lucia’s, where my nieces immediately noticed the servers and hostess were all gorgeous women and they wondered aloud why I really go there… Ha!

It’s because the food is deeee-licious

Then… My poor little (okay, she’s taller than me and cuter than most supermodels) niece, Johntel, had the misfortune of trying to use my ultra-complicated remote control to watch TV, and because the audio jack from the Mac Mini was partially out, and someone had cranked up the volume on the stereo to “ear piercing levels”. It may have been Johntel by accident, but who knows?

The bottom line: I blew one of the woofers in my Infinity mains that front my system.

Now, of course, Krystel (who was sneaking a nap :-) ) jumps up and is like, “That’s it kids! You blew up his A/V system! Let’s leave now!”

Possibly because she expected me to go ballistic.. :-)

But seeing how guilty my poor niece was feeling (and given that I’m due to teach her how to drive on the ‘vette soon, hey, I can think of worse things for her to break — when she’s driving my car!!!), I made it a point to let her know that:

  • The speaker has twin 8″ woofers. Only one is dead. 99% of the world, or at least 99% of my friends can’t hear the difference. Heck, I only noticed it because I’m a freak.
  • My amp can “kinda” compensate for the differences in speakers when I recalibrate my system. No biggie if it can drive the two mains differently to make up for any differences between them due to the blown woofer.
  • The foam is torn around the woofer. A quick look on eBay netted me this repair kit which only costs ~$25. I’ll need to look around some more to see if this is all I need.

At first, I thought… hmmm… this may be the perfect excuse to buy some new speakers, but now… I think the first move I should make is to limp along for a bit and accrue more $$$ so that when I do decide to splurge, I’ve had a chance to research all of my options and perhaps overhaul the whole rig. Then, even if I do “fix” the speakers, I may just set them up in my bedroom or home office and use them there.

Hmmmm…. :-)

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