The Flip Medley

After working with a co-worker who was about as infectious as an Ebola monkey in a confined environment with poor air circulation for two weeks, I find myself battling the same symptoms that plagued him.

(Damn you, Linus!)

Being a bachelor who lives by himself, this means that I’m going to be self-medicating.

That is, if I had some medicine.

The problem with not getting sick on a regular (annual?) basis is that I never have a stockpile of drugs that have not expired.

Sore throat? Whoops, the Chloraseptic went south sometime in 10/2006.

Theraflu? Well, this feels like a cold, but if it had been the flu, too bad… That expired 8/2005.

Sudafed? Expired 7/2006.

All I’ve got is a tube of Airborne and some Emergen-C my friend Sarah dropped off. She’s like Mother Teresa, but hotter.

(She also watched an episode of “Arrested Development” I DVR’d — the one where Justine Bateman plays a hooker. That’s one of my favorites. Almost as good as the episodes with Charlize Theron as the retarded Brit. Priceless.)

So… in the spirit of trying to keep a stiff upper lip and fighting off the plague by eating and resting, I’m curious:

What could suck more than having a house full of expired meds? I’m sure creative minds can dream up torments worse than this…