The end of innocence…

When I was a kid, my favorite cartoon was “Star Blazers“, a show about a courageous group of humans who take off to do battle with the Gamilon (Gamelon? Gamelan? I don’t know how to spell it!) Empire.

Why were were fighting the Gamilons? Well, they had decided to bombard Earth and poison our world with “planet bombs”, marking the first time WMDs were used in anime (Okay, probably not, but I’m given to hyperbole here people!). The main thing to note is that they were led by an evil leader named Desslok, who always seemed to be a little different from the other male characters on the show.

Anyways, the earthlings received a transmission from Queen Starsha of Iscandar along with plans for a wave-motion engine to propel them at ungodly speeds through space, and a wave-motion “gun” to shoot their enemies, bolted them on to the old Japanese warship Yamato, and set off on a one year journey though space to receive a cure for all that ailed the Earth, and to deal with the evil Gamilons.

Fast forward twenty plus years…

A few months ago, I found out “Star Blazers” was now available on DVD. So I ordered the first DVD, and watched it… and now I find myself consumed with questions about the show, such as…

Why does everyone (except the doctor) wear a shirt with arrows pointing towards their naughty bits?

Is this weirder than the people who wear Star Trek uniforms? With the little logos on them?

Sometimes a spaceship is just a spaceship, but… after watching that video, I’m pretty sure that this spaceship is intended to be a penis. Watch. The. Video. (and try not to laugh at the dialogue!)

Keep in mind that the spaceship Yamato, when confronted by enemies, typically dispatched them by ramping up the wave motion gun and spraying them with a beam of pure white energy. I will let you draw your own conclusions about the show from that one, but seriously — watch the video if you think I’m being silly.

Is Desslok gay?
It’s obvious Desslok is given an effeminate voice (in the English version), but after watching the Tribute To Desslok (YouTube) (weird, disturbing theme music until about 1:26 in to the video when you can finally hear him speak in English), I found myself really wondering what was going on with the primping in front of the big mirror (0:41), and the massage he’s getting from the other blue guy (0:54). Actually, I guess the real reason I think he’s gay is because of this website devoted to him.

Are all the people who watched this show as a kid capable of such cruelty to their children? My God, this show is warping another generation of children! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

26 May 2008 | DVD, Humor, TV | Comments