The Flip Medley » Humor

He’s Dead

flip — Wed, 04 May 2011 05:33:01 +0000

Think of the chi^h^h^h orphans!

flip — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 20:23:45 +0000

I had no idea these existed, but they are hilarious… Fake PSAs used to promote the best blaxplotation parody ever: “Black Dynamite.”

Cream Corn makes sure you get the message about smack…

Bullhorn owns a nightclub, but he makes it a point to warn children about the dangers of drugs.. with dramatic reenacments!

Chocolate Giddy Up used to pimp and sell drugs. Now he just pimps.

Finally, Black Dynamite appears to visit Sesame Street to tell kids, using the worst possible song ever, that they should not think that drugs are fun.

Quite possibly the ballsiest scammer e-mail ever…

flip — Tue, 11 May 2010 00:10:34 +0000

Check this out… this is a scam claiming to come from the FBI, and they’ve decided to e-mail me to tell me that, which the help of an “Intelligence Monitoring Network” they have determined that I have won a lottery outside of the U.S. of A. to the tune of $800,000.

Let’s break it down…

Yes, this scammer has the testicular fortitude to actually use the FBI’s real address on their e-mail letterhead.
Despite this intensive investigation where they uncovered my e-mail address, they are unable to address me by name, only as “BENEFICIARY”. If you doubt how deep their investigation went, read on…
This is the mention of the nebulous “Intelligence Monitoring Network System”. I’d like to monitor the intelligence of anyone stupid enough to respond to this scam.
Blah blah blah… oh wait, the FBI says this is Safe (with a capital ‘S’!) and 100% risk free! Oooh!
The FBI is apparently extremely thorough…. despite being unable to determine my name, they did find the name of a South African lottery agent. Who knows how many precious man hours our loyal public servants used to help me get to my lottery winnings? Hopefully, no terrorists snuck by while they were checking up on my lottery winnings using the “Intelligence Monitoring Network System”!
The guts of the scam — they want me to pay this “agent-in-charge” $370.00 to get at my $800,000 lottery winnings.
Of course, this lottery agent dude has a Hotmail
address. (I smile because usually it’s a Yahoo! address…)
Continuing with the trend of putting their balls right out there, this email claims the FBI is authorizing me to pay the $370. No need to consult with anyone else, ’cause this e-mail from the FBI says it’s okay! And did I mention it is Safe and 100% risk free?
And finally, poor John Miller… he’s cited (correctly) as the FBI’s guy when it comes to public affairs.

I consider this spam to be an impressive display of courage and/or stupidity, and I can’t help but wonder if there is some poor sap who is using dial-up who is scratching his head and popping a v1agra while chatting which HOT CHICKS NEAR YOU all the while thinking that it must be okay, because it really does look official…

It’s a House Not A Ho

flip — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 07:04:06 +0000

Checking out my recent credit card transactions, I was surprised to see $37.93 for THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HO! WTF is a pancake ho? The mind boggles!

If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why’d He make them out of meat?

flip — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:46:36 +0000

Sometimes I think the people who write copy for Amazon’s “Lightning Deals” just can’t think of anything new to say about the products they are pitching. Case in point… what’s a meat snack? Are we talking beef jerky or Slim JIms?

Even more disturbing, what’s an extreme meat snack?

The mind boggles!

The best name ever…. (pray I don’t have kids)

flip — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 14:48:09 +0000

While at lunch with my friends Karen and Allen the other day, we were talking about how Karen’s surname was chosen a few generations ago. In fact, her brother even has a stage name. This led me to speculate that her family’s original name was something whack, like Snottenburger. Of course, in an effort to add as many consonants to the name as possible, our little crew freestyled a few names that we think would be perfect for a retired hitman who lives in a modest neighborhood in D.C. and who goes by the name…

Ezekiel Schnodtenbergerr

I bet there are no Google hits for this name except for this blog entry… For now.

His middle name would have to be Xavier. I’m just sayin’!

Three Headlines That Make Sense Taken Together

flip — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 18:17:27 +0000

I don’t eat in a litter box, but…

flip — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:57:44 +0000

…Amazon.com apparently thinks a litter box is a Kitchen & Dining product? Doesn’t this against the “don’t poop where you eat”-edict?

Really Fear The Turtle…

flip — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:58:20 +0000

Sure, you can go to my alma mater’s website and make the turtle roar… but I think this is even scarier… And at the same time, funnier…

Know your market…

flip — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 16:52:35 +0000

I had a meeting get cancelled, so I decided to check out the new “all sports” format on WJFK using internet streaming radio. Of course, before I could listen to Mike Wise talk about DNA testing Dominican players to make sure they are not lying about their age, I was subjected to this advertisment, which I don’t think resonates with the demographic that WJFK is aiming for…

…though I did stick around to listen to the show.

P.S., I will miss The Mike O’Meara Show.

A Nickname For Shaq… The Cleveland Steamer

flip — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 15:45:57 +0000

Okay, so a while ago, Shaq was looking for a new nickname now that he is playing with LeBron James in Cleveland.

Let’s go back in time and revisit some of his past nicknames:

The Diesel (we’ll revisit this one in a moment)
Shaq Fu
The Big Aristotle
The Big Daddy
Superman (well, I think Dwight Howard just appropriated that name…)
Wilt Chamberneezy
The Real Deal
The Big Agave (???)
The Big Cactus
Shaqtus
The Big Galactus (kind of redundant… Galactus eats frickin’ planets, so a Big Galactus is what? Bigger?)

Anyways, let’s consider where he’s playing: Cleveland. And since the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Washington Wizards are rivals — and keep in mind the Wiz beat the Cavs twice last year (including the “crab dribble” game), and should have won a third on Christmas Day — I can’t let Shaq have an easy time of it. And when a friend who is also a fellow season-ticket holder for the Wiz proposed this name, I thought, “It’s perfect! Kind of like “The Diesel” but… grosser!”

The nickname?

The Cleveland Steamer

*** EDIT ***

Just Repo It!

flip — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:16:59 +0000

Worst. Trailer. Ever.

flip — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 01:29:18 +0000

And yet, I kinda want to see it just so I can MST3K it…

Don’t knock it!

flip — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 06:54:26 +0000

Devolution Of Man

flip — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:04:57 +0000

It can be difficult to remain focused when talking to a pretty girl.