Let me attempt to explain why this episode is so fantastic….

First of all, it combines elements of what we’ve come to know and love in a forensic procedural like “CSI” with the campiness of a 60’s show that takes itself seriously enough to be dramatic, but is hokey enough to make me belly laugh when I watch it.

This is also the episode where Mr. Sulu loses his mind and runs around shirtless with a rapier threatening random people who simply do not know how to respond to a shirtless wannabe pirate on board of a starship.

Then we have a scene where a woman who barely knows Mr. Spock starts telling him she really, really loves him and since this whack mental condition is passed through skin-on-skin contact, when she kisses his hand…

…it causes him to lose his everlovin’ mind. Which manifests itself with the best acting ever in a sci-fi comedy as Mr. Spock proceeds to rant about never telling his mother that he loved her while crying. Seriously. This is epic stuff.

Of course, the Enterprise is in peril — and Capt. Kirk is losing his mind because a crewman is singing over the intercom, which is driving him bonkers — which leads to a slapfight (!) between Kirk and Spock.

Of course slapping involves skin-on-skin contact, so that means Kirk gets infected, which leads to him showing his chops as a Shakespearean thespian as he begins to ramble on and on about how the ship has to be a “she” because he loves her… and let me just say, it appears we were a few seconds away from Mr. Shatner dry-humping the bulkhead when they got back on track with the plot.

I am not going to spoil the ending, but… trust me, if there is one YouTube video that lasts close to an hour you need to see, it’s “Star Trek: The Naked Time“.

Basically, I was chilling, watching “Syriana” (courtesy of Netflix) because I’ve had it for… six months and still haven’t watched it.

Then I noticed a weird odor…

(No, not my own flatulence)

I thought it may be one of the many electronic gizmos in my home theater rig overheating, since it smelled like roasted electronics with a hint of rubber.

Given how shitty my sense of smell is, it could have smelled like roast duck with mango salsa and I’d have freaked…

So I cut the lights on, looked in my kitchen and noticed a smoky haze in the kitchen.

I then proceeded to run around the kitchen (“like a chicken with its head cut off” as my dear old Mom used to say) looking to see if the oven, the cooktop or anything else might be on.

Nada.

I noticed the smoke was up to the ceiling in there, so I bolted upstairs, and checked all the rooms. Nothing burning, and the odor was not even noticeable up there.

So I dialed 9-1-1, told the operator what was going on, and got a visit from PGFD and Greenbelt Volunteer FD so quickly that I barely had time to move my car out the garage (because I sure as Hell was not going to let my precious car go up in flames… or get water damaged if they needed to put a fire out!) before they showed up en masse.

My boss may appreciate the fact that somewhere in the process of moving the car, I also threw my laptop and all my work-related stuff into the trunk because I love my job.

So the fire department ran around the place checking for the source of the smoke and discovered that something electronic failed in the (overly complex and, in my opinion, poorly designed) electronic HVAC unit that handles the heat in the house.

It kicked out a lot of smoke, tripped the circuit breaker, but the fans pushed the smoke throughout the house.

Joy.

That said, I’m glad to be alive, glad that all the “things” I’ve got aren’t lost to fire, damaged, or destroyed. And I’m grateful to the fire department for getting out here so quickly, even though I caught one of the guys playing with an elastic ribbon I used while rehabilitating my ankle (why do I keep it? I don’t know!) to smack his co-worker on the ass.

Movie synopsis: *poke* *poke* *poke* *stab* *stab* *die*

I just got “300” on Blu-Ray from Amazon.com today, and I found myself thinking:

“Wouldn’t it be great to do a double feature with “Letters from Iwo Jima” and then wrap it up with “300″?”

Granted, “300″ may not be suitable for kids. So some changes could be made to get it a PG rating…

Then I began to think of other films that might be interesting combinations For example, I think everyone who enjoyed “Casino Royale” should check out “Layer Cake” because it’s a great opportunity to see what Daniel Craig was like “before he was Bond”, but also because the director guides the movie with a taut style and sharp eye akin to what David Fincher did with “Fight Club”.

Granted, the movies are completely different — Layer Cake is all about a mid-level drug dealer in the UK, and Fight Club is… well… hard to talk about without spoiling the ending. That said, at the end of “The Sixth Sense,” they reveal that Bruce Willis was dead all along.

So my question to the blogosphere is…

What two movies would you combine in your ideal double feature?

“Gold and jade on the outside, decay on the inside…” – Zhang Yimou, director of “Curse of the Golden Flower”

Three weeks ago, I woke up at 5:30am and camped out with my friend Yan in Central Park to get tickets to one of the last Shakespeare in Central Park productions — “Romeo & Juliet”.

The show was fantastic, and it reminded me of the beauty of Shakespeare on stage. I found myself silently admiring aspects of the production. The set design was innovative and intriguing, using a modular metal bridge and a rotating stage that was partially submerged, which made every actor’s step sparkle and glitter, and it drew the eye to every movement, no matter how subtle. I could go on and on, but you can read a review here.

Last night, I watched “Curse of the Golden Flower” on Blu-Ray, and I found that same sense of wonder welling up within me… This movie strikes chords on multiple levels, with complex characters who are reminiscent of one of Shakespeare’s classics.

“It reveals the complexity of the relationships… The emotional ties are complex. Everyone has a secret. This is the nucleus of the story…” — Zhang Yimou

The young prince stands up to his father…

I have to start by first deferring a description of the substance of this story to comment on the stunning visuals. Honestly, I am not sure I can even endorse watching this movie on DVD with a standard definiton TV. It is sumptuous and seductive in its beauty, and if you really want to enjoy this film to the fullest, and recreate the sense of grandeur it attempts to impart through its cinematography, you’ll want the biggest 1080p TV you can afford.

This film is simply beautiful.

The vibrant, colorful sets and the sweeping, epic nature of the battle scenes are so gorgeous when viewed in high definition. The sound mix was good, though the music is not quite as lush as the soundtrack to “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” (which benefitted from Tan Dun’s beautiful score (with Yo-Yo Ma) which won him several internatonal awards). Even so, running this in Dolby Digital 5.1 (uncompressed!) was delicious, especially during the battle sequences.

Now, to the substance… which I’ll try to focus on without giving away any spoilers.

The story itself is built upon a “decaying” marriage between the Emperor (Chow Yun Fat) and his wife, the Empress (Gong Li), who gives an amazing turn in this role that forces her to play a wife, a scorned lover, and a courtly manipulator who wants to bring about the downfall of her husband.

If you thought Lady Macbeth was a big, bad mama…

She has been sleeping with his oldest son, Crown Prince Wan, so there is also a dynamic in play due to the near-incestuous nature of the infidelity. However, Wan is also enjoying the charms of young maiden wh serves the royals, and who is the daughter of the Imperial Physician. Who happens to be married to… well, let’s just say that the story weaves a tangled web that will leave you feeling like you’ve just seen the Chinese equivalent of a West Virginia family reunion!

The conflict all stems from a battle to wrest control over the “body” of the Empress, for the Emperor claims that she is sick and must take a medicine every hour, and when she realizes that she seems to be getting sicker, a plot is set into motion that will test the loyalties of the every member in the royal family, especially those of Prince Jai who is the only child of the Emperor & Empress’ union.

“I am soooooo going to kick somebody’s ass…”

And when things turn violent, and you know that in an epic story like this that it will, it is more beautiful than it is visceral. Heroism in Chinese cinema is not always about winning, but about taking on the impossible task, despite knowing that victory is impossible.

“Okay, if 300 can defeat a million, then surely I can beat these guys! Plus this looks just like Dynasty Warriors 5 on Playstation 2!”

There is a beautiful, almost stoic charm to the way the characters evolve as the story moves towards its conclusion that makes this movie absolutely compelling.

If you think your family is dysfunctional…

Highly, highly recommended in my book. But be forewarned — there is a lot of exposition early in the film, so go in with the expectation that you’re going to be inundated with plot before you enjoy a very rewarding finale. It is a sumptuous feast for cinema lovers.