I’m sick. According to two people who can only remote-diagnose my illness via phone conversations, I sound like death warmed over. And yet, given that I dropped $400 on ten tickets for family & friends to go to the game, I went to Game 4 of the Wizards-Cavaliers playoff series.
The Cavaliers won 100-97 in a thriller. It was one of those games where, in the final 5 seconds, you’re holding your breath and wondering if Gilbert Arenas was going to sink one of his patented end-of-game threes to send this puppy to OT.
Instead… he missed and the game ended.
At that point, I’m sick, my team has lost, and yet… I’m feeling pretty good because I’d been re-energized by having family & friends around. The game was simply an excuse to be around some people and soak up some positive vibes and love while trying to defeat this pesky bug that seems to persist despite my best attempts to expunge it from my system.
Even better: when I got home, I got phone calls and text messages from friends that brightened my day. I found the energy to assemble my new lawn mower (because the dandelion farm I’m cultivating is not eye candy for my neighbors), and my plan is to knock that out first thing in the morning, finish packing, then bolt to the airport for my flight to Vegas.
Then I’m going to catch up with customers, make sure everything is stable before I try to crash out hard and recuperate as much as possible.
It’s going to be a busy week!
I went to the playoff game tonight between the Washington Wizards and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Or to be more precise, between the Wizards and LeBron James.
The Cavaliers have beaten the Wizards eight times in a row in the post-season over the past three years, so the Wizards have a chip on their shoulder, and as NBA fans are aware of, there’s been a lot of smack talk between the Wizards and the Cavaliers. It all started with DeShawn Stevenson saying LeBron was “overrated” after the Wiz beat them near the end of the season. This triggered a response from LeBron James that turned Soulja Boy in to a Wizards fan:
“With DeShawn Stevenson, it’s kind of funny. It’s almost like Jay-Z [responding to a negative comment] made by Soulja Boy. It doesn’t make sense to respond.”
During Game 2, when DeShawn taunted the Cavs after sinking a three pointer by doing his patented “I can’t feel my face”-move, the Cavs Damon Jones struck back and mocked him by doing the “I can’t feel my face”-move right back at him.
Ouch!
The Cavs went on to blow out the Wizards by 30 points, the largest margin of victory for the Cleveland Cavaliers in playoff history.
That said, tonight was a bit different. For one thing, the game was in D.C. at the Verizon Center, and the fans were all encouraged to wear white to show their support for the team. The fact that free white T-shirts were provided for every fan certainly helped create the sea of white-clad people in the stands.
The Wizards pretty much dominated the game from start to finish. They held the Cavs to only 33 points in the first half, and I even had a chance to see a celebrity:
DeShawn Stevenson even went on a tear, sinking a couple of three pointers and getting the crowd amped up…
The Wizards finished the game strong, blowing out the Cavs 108-72 for the largest margin of victory for Wizards in playoff history (36 points).
— but Andray Blatche missed his free throws and the Cavs narrowed the margin of victory to 36.
Now on to Game 4 — this one will be interesting because I’ve bought ten tickets on “The Hill” (nosebleed seats) for family and friends for Sunday’s game. I expect both teams to come out on top of their game, and you know the Cavaliers are not enjoying themselves tonight after a thirty-six point beatdown.
First, Gilbert tells Men’s Journal a horror story about shaving his pubes…
“When I was new in the NBA the team veterans convinced me to shave, you know, down there, because they said the hair stinks. I used my girlfriend’s razor, which was rusty and gave me keloids. The doctor prescribed medicine to dab on, but I just poured it all over. Three days later I woke up screaming. The skin was burnt off my scrotum, down to my crack, everything — just raw flesh. I still had to run and play, so I used a numbing spray for a month until it healed. Now I use clippers.”
…then, he reveals on his NBA.com blog that the subsequent discomfort led to an explosion of talcum power in the middle of a game.
The Shaving “Down There†Story
I was 18! I mean, what to do you expect? At 18 you’re experimental.
I mean come on.
You know what’s funny about it? I know everybody is saying “too much information,†but at the time, that was the joke of the team that year. It got us through the year with great laughs because if nobody had any new material, we just always went back to that.
“You been using any shavers lately?â€
It was my second year. Coach Musselman was there and made fun of me for it all year long.
It was the worst pain I ever felt. I told myself, if I can play through that, I can play through anything.
Thinking back on it now, it was pretty funny. I remember we were in L.A. and we were playing the Clippers and we were trying as a team to find stuff to try to cool the flesh down and we couldn’t find anything.
Everything hurt – putting tights on, no tights, jock straps – we tried everything and it didn’t work. So what I decided to do was after I put my compression shorts on, I taped them to my leg around my thigh and I just poured a whole bottle of baby powder in there.
Against L.A. I remember driving to the hole and got hit by Keyon Dooling and all you see is POOF, a cloud of smoke of baby powder. That’s what I’m saying, it’s funny now at 26-years old to laugh at it, but it hurt then.
My teammates used to be like, “Oh, there goes Puff the Magic Dragon.â€
Oh, the good old days. You know I tell you guys you got to have memories, that’s a memory.
Seriously, Agent Zero… Get well soon. It’s obvious that all this time away from the game, rehabilitating and recuperating, are taking you to that special place where crazy gets scary!