The Flip Medley

Check this out… this is a scam claiming to come from the FBI, and they’ve decided to e-mail me to tell me that, which the help of an “Intelligence Monitoring Network” they have determined that I have won a lottery outside of the U.S. of A. to the tune of $800,000.

Let’s break it down…

1. Yes, this scammer has the testicular fortitude to actually use the FBI’s real address on their e-mail letterhead.
2. Despite this intensive investigation where they uncovered my e-mail address, they are unable to address me by name, only as “BENEFICIARY”. If you doubt how deep their investigation went, read on…
3. This is the mention of the nebulous “Intelligence Monitoring Network System”. I’d like to monitor the intelligence of anyone stupid enough to respond to this scam.
4. Blah blah blah… oh wait, the FBI says this is Safe (with a capital ‘S’!) and 100% risk free! Oooh!
5. The FBI is apparently extremely thorough…. despite being unable to determine my name, they did find the name of a South African lottery agent. Who knows how many precious man hours our loyal public servants used to help me get to my lottery winnings? Hopefully, no terrorists snuck by while they were checking up on my lottery winnings using the “Intelligence Monitoring Network System”!
7. The guts of the scam — they want me to pay this “agent-in-charge” $370.00 to get at my $800,000 lottery winnings.
8. Of course, this lottery agent dude has a Hotmail
   address. (I smile because usually it’s a Yahoo! address…)
9. Continuing with the trend of putting their balls right out there, this email claims the FBI is authorizing me to pay the $370. No need to consult with anyone else, ’cause this e-mail from the FBI says it’s okay! And did I mention it is Safe and 100% risk free?
10. And finally, poor John Miller… he’s cited (correctly) as the FBI’s guy when it comes to public affairs.

I consider this spam to be an impressive display of courage and/or stupidity, and I can’t help but wonder if there is some poor sap who is using dial-up who is scratching his head and popping a v1agra while chatting which HOT CHICKS NEAR YOU all the while thinking that it must be okay, because it really does look official…

Poor David. He gets filmed by his Dad after getting pummeled with anesthetic, and becomes a 23 million hit wonder on YouTube, only to be parodied to hilarious effect by everyone from Darth Vader to depressed Cowboys fans!

…and my personal favorite: Christian Bale ranting at the doped up kid. It’s scary how well the two clips mesh together!

P.S., David’s Dad (or family) has a blog where they are putting his “internet celebrity” to good use and helping raise funds for charities to help children get dental care they might not be able to afford.