Let’s break it down…

1. Yes, this scammer has the testicular fortitude to actually use the FBI’s real address on their e-mail letterhead.
2. Despite this intensive investigation where they uncovered my e-mail address, they are unable to address me by name, only as “BENEFICIARY”. If you doubt how deep their investigation went, read on…
3. This is the mention of the nebulous “Intelligence Monitoring Network System”. I’d like to monitor the intelligence of anyone stupid enough to respond to this scam.
4. Blah blah blah… oh wait, the FBI says this is Safe (with a capital ‘S’!) and 100% risk free! Oooh!
5. The FBI is apparently extremely thorough…. despite being unable to determine my name, they did find the name of a South African lottery agent. Who knows how many precious man hours our loyal public servants used to help me get to my lottery winnings? Hopefully, no terrorists snuck by while they were checking up on my lottery winnings using the “Intelligence Monitoring Network System”!
7. The guts of the scam — they want me to pay this “agent-in-charge” $370.00 to get at my $800,000 lottery winnings.
8. Of course, this lottery agent dude has a Hotmail
   address. (I smile because usually it’s a Yahoo! address…)
9. Continuing with the trend of putting their balls right out there, this email claims the FBI is authorizing me to pay the $370. No need to consult with anyone else, ’cause this e-mail from the FBI says it’s okay! And did I mention it is Safe and 100% risk free?
10. And finally, poor John Miller… he’s cited (correctly) as the FBI’s guy when it comes to public affairs.

I consider this spam to be an impressive display of courage and/or stupidity, and I can’t help but wonder if there is some poor sap who is using dial-up who is scratching his head and popping a v1agra while chatting which HOT CHICKS NEAR YOU all the while thinking that it must be okay, because it really does look official…

…though I did stick around to listen to the show.

P.S., I will miss The Mike O’Meara Show.

Poor David. He gets filmed by his Dad after getting pummeled with anesthetic, and becomes a 23 million hit wonder on YouTube, only to be parodied to hilarious effect by everyone from Darth Vader to depressed Cowboys fans!

…and my personal favorite: Christian Bale ranting at the doped up kid. It’s scary how well the two clips mesh together!

P.S., David’s Dad (or family) has a blog where they are putting his “internet celebrity” to good use and helping raise funds for charities to help children get dental care they might not be able to afford.

…but I still don’t trust Verizon with TV, phone, and internet (hence the DirecTV and Vonage bills that come every month).

Here are four quick screenshots to walk you through how it looks…

Click on “Traffic”…

It defaults to “Live” traffic. Click on “Change”…

Now you can set up the date and time for the historical traffic data you’d like to view. Here’s 4:45pm on Tuesdays on the Washington, D.C. Beltway.

And here’s 5:30pm on Tuesdays on the Washington, D.C. Beltway.

(Which, incidentally, should not be used for any secret squirrel business because you have no control over the storage and dissemination of your e-mails from those services. Just ask Shi Tao — Yahoo! turned over his e-mails to the Chinese government and now he’s doing ten years in a Chinese prison!)

So if any of the “leaks” coming from her e-mail account become part of the scandal involving the possible firing of her ex-brother-in-law (there’s a hyphenated title if I ever saw one!), it’s quite possible that this hack could give legs to the “Troopergate” scandal.

Anyways, here’s the story from Wikileaks.org…

You’re not paranoid if they are really after you!

August 8, 2008

VIA Email: contact@neobeans.com
and U.S. Mail

Mr. Charles Medley
130 Hedgewood Drive
Greenbelt, MD 20770

Re: Infringing Use of New York Times Materials on

http://www.neobeans.com/blog/

Dear Mr. Medley:

I am with the Legal Department of The New York Times Company. Continuously for more than one hundred years, The Times has published the world famous newspaper The New York Times. We are the owner of U.S. Registration No. 227,904 for our trademark “The New York Times”, which registration is now incontestable.

It has come to my attention that you have posted on your web site a screen grab showing an nytimes.com page containing an article entitled “Russian Gang Hijacking PC’s In Vast Scheme”, written by John Markoff and published in The New York Times newspaper on August 5, 2008 (at http://www.neobeans.com/blog/) and an article entitled “The Secret Curse of Expert Archers” written by Katie Thomas and published in the newspaper on August 1, 2008 (at http://www.neobeans.com/blog/2008/07/31/cant-shoot/) (collectively, the “Materials”). We have no record that you ever obtained permission to post the Materials

Please note, The New York Times Company owns the copyright in and to all of the material published in The New York Times newspaper. We encourage linking and you can find our guidelines for doing so appropriately at http://www.nytimes.com/ref/membercenter/help/linkingfaq.html. Also, if you wish to post a legal eprint of any New York Times article(s) on your web site, we invite you to contact Leigh Russo at PARS International (phone: 212-xxx-xxxx, xXXX / email: leigh.russo@xxxxxxxx.xxx), who will be happy to assist you.

However, your current use of the Materials constitutes an infringement of The Times’s rights under U.S. Copyright and Trademark law. Accordingly, we hereby demand that you immediately cease and desist from any further use of the Materials in any manner whatsoever and immediately remove the Materials from your site.

If we do not hear from you within three (3) business days of receipt of this letter, we will have no choice but to pursue all available remedies, both civil and criminal. The demands made herein shall not prejudice or waive any right or remedies that The Times may have in respect of the subject matter set forth herein, all of which rights and remedies are hereby expressly reserved.

Sincerely,

Deborah Beshaw
Legal Department
The New York Times Company
620 Eighth Avenue, 18th Floor
New York, NY 10018
212-xxx-xxxx
(f) 212-xxx-xxxx

cc: Tom Jolly
Richard S. Samson, Esq

One friend (who shall remain nameless) had a weird issue where her keyboard would spew random characters every so often. As she was describing the problem, I checked a few websites and found that there actually was a virus circulating that matched her symptoms to a tee.

Her response?

“Oh well, it’s no big deal. It’s kind of cute!”

Then I launched in to a whole explanation about how having a lackadaisical approach to securing her computer could leave her compromised — and she could become a pawn of nebulous Eastern European hacker groups who get paid to turn your computer in to part of a botnet and use it for purposes such as spamming everyone with Viagra ads.

My friend politely listened as if I’d just said, “We have to wear the tin foil hats to keep the aliens from controlling our minds!”, but finally… FINALLY… a “mainstream” source of news has covered this topic.

From The New York Times.

Cuil before search for neobeans

Cuil's results for neobeans

Google before searching for neobeans

Google results for neobeans

I’m know Cuil is allegedly searching more sites than Google, but… they can’t seem to find me.